January 18, 2008
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Today I Learned Something Important About Myself
I write to process emotion; sadness and anger mostly, but those branch off into several sub categories.I write to 'work through' emotion.
Related to writing I am both pissed and blessed.
Writing and being in emotional distress are often interdependent, one cannot exist without the the other, each gives the other strength and trying to repress, or suppress either will lead to certain death.
Death is certain anyhow so the above doesn't matter and is just another way to divert attention from the actual painful writing itself.
Life and reality are nothing more than a long succession of symbolism, expressions of the feelings of our limp, moist, warm brains, the essence of who we really are.
The world is an extension of the mind of humans.
By biggest problem has been, and perhaps the most important and telling thing; Xanga is nothing more than a tool to procrastinate, satisfy the "urge", and to avoid doing what must be done, however scary and painful and demanding of self-discipline it may be.
Something once to me was quite symbolic, a mythical "plastic box". Typical conflict, I needed this plastic box but could not find it.
At first I did not know what was in the box.
Now I know what is in the box.
Today I found the small plastic box.
What it contains can only be described through symbolic language.
Today I opened the small plastic box.
I guess it's time to deal with it.
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Comments (5)
well, let's hope the box's previous owner wasn't Pandora. hope you have a great weekend. peace, Al
It will be the deal of the century. I know you may disagree but I feel that you are fine the way you are. You deal with things as you need to and you do so clearly and steadily. Getting anxious and frustrated may thwart your inner work but that is part of you too. We are all flawed human beings. But I like us all. I do. Have a weekend.
I usually write to get through emotions or try to do something productive. I wish you luck on this journey! ~D~
xanga is a great way to share. Whatever you feel like sharing, xanga is there to share it. I'm glad that you share what you are feeling.
For me, Xanga started off as a fabulous vehicle for working through the aftereffects of a serious illness, as a pressure valve for my maniacal creative mind (at the time) and has recently been a way for me to educate myself and others about issues about which I care deeply. I can only hope I can make a tiny difference. Even if I don't, I know I have tried. So it is not a time sink for me.
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