March 22, 2008

  • Dropping Your Celephone In The Toilet Is The End

    of that celephone.     It was a T-Mobile Dash and I learned that if the little strip of paper,  the sticker above the battery, on the inside of the phone turns pink,  it's a goner.  This phone plopped off my belt,  luckily in a toilet of fresh water,  however the state of the water is pretty much a moot point because if it gets wet at all,  it's dead.

    DAMN TMOBILE DAMN THEM TO HELL.

    AND DAMN THE WAR!

    I had to buy a new Dash, shit!   Affording one is relative,   I could really not afford one and I hate having the phone and spending the money but it was so frustrating without and canceling the number and everything after all this time is... well, I don't know..... I don't really even use the phone,  I'm not much of a phone talkier,  in fact, I never go over my 300 mins a month nor use the free weekend minutes.  

    I do feel guilty for not calling people,  especially my family,  but I've never been the type to pick up the phone and call someone,   in fact,  the thought gives me anxiety.  I have anxiety about talking to people on the phone.  Don't ask me why,   but I am constantly telling myself I need to do it more often.

    Of course I didn't have anxiety about talking to my mother on the phone, she was the one person I could freely call without thinking about it...... I don't know why.  But now she's gone.   I mean people always think  it's about them "oh you can call me anytime" and I know I can but it's really all about me and not the other people....

     I'm not totally anxious around every single person and at every single moment,  but the vast majority of time I am people-phobic on some level below just the surface awareness...

    It's been a detriment.  It's hard to meet people.   I am not a go-getter as far as building income goes.  I skim by on just what I need,   however am no longer a spendthrift which I use to rationalize my lack of a life,  by choice or by fear or by chosen comfort.

    Hey,  there is no fear,  only chosen comfort.

    ....Easter is early this year,  oddly,  meaning I guess that the grid of the calendar placed over the naturalness of easter is off center.   It actually is the First Sunday After the First Full Moon After the Vernal Equinox.   Spring has sprung. 

     I don't feel Easterly.  I am disappointed that I don't have a great urge to go out and photographs of the famed Easter "parade" (actually not a parade at all) on 5th Ave. and record it on YOUTUBE for posterity's sake (I'm going to have to Google 'for posterity's sake' to see what it actually means and how to use it and spell it).  

    I had been on a 'go' mode for a few months there,  going about and taking some photos,  but telling myself that the cold has kept me in.  Now I'm wondering about the Wellbutrin weening off of and if I'm going to strive for the ultimate in reclusiveness again.   Only time will tell.

    I bought an Amy Weinhouse concert DVD and a Stevie Wonder Greatest Hits yesterday on Sale at Virgin Megastore and used a $5 coupon I had.  I also Watched the rapper GRAVY,  play the role of BIGGIE SMALLS,  in the filming of a scene of NOTORIOUS,  the story of the THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. in a movie of the famed rapper gunned down under suspicious rapper and gangsta' circumstances.

    Hollywood is in New York.

    Did you know there are movie and tv studios in Queens, as well as in 'the city'?  Many shows are and have been filmed here during the years. 

    This was on 14th Street and the scene was so tight,  Biggie getting out of a car with a few fans asking for autographs and lines going back and forth between two characters while a camera on a track rolled backward and rose up,  that I couldn't worm my way into the rather small crowd of extras tightly formed around the famous rapper.  

     They had fake camera's flashing on big poles, big lights to get camera flash effects, and the extras were all holding up their cameras and record covers and pretending to scream,  but not really screaming loud.  The actors spit back their lines and got in the car and drove ten inches and "CUT" and over and over....

    Cool to live in the Big City and to see the world at its axis... and this just during my lunch hour in the work-a-day world.

    I've got to go look at the answers to the Times Crossword I could not finish yesterday nor today.
    .

Comments (8)

  • well, at least you have a cell phone - i haven't moved that far yet! stay warm - it's gotta warm up soon - i mean global warming is here isn't it? have a great day! peace, Al

  • the pink paper of electronic death

    i miss your photos. but will wait for them patiently

  • have a blessed easter O  choosing to  avoid people may be smarter than you think  sorry about your phone i use them as little as possible    love beck

  • Ouch!  Poor you and poor phone.  I hope that some really good chocolate can make you feel better.

  • Good Morning Orlando and a Happy Easter My Friend.

    I AM not much for talking on the phone either, though I do get in my modes and unfortunately I have a few friends that still like to drunk dial on occasion. grrrr The hubby wants to get rid of our home phone and just have cell phones, but that causes me anxiety and I AM not sure why. We have had the same phone number for over 20 years so, I AM kind of attached to it and it is the only number that many of my friends and family have for me. So...I still have to think about this one. The cell phone I use now is over 4 years old but hey, it still works so who cares if it is a monster!

    As for the Atripla, I have not yet started it. Yes, Atripla is 3 meds in one pill (efavirenz + tenofovir + emtricitabine). I saw my HIV doc on Thursday and fully expected to get my script but now doc is concerned that I may have fungal meningitis because I complained to him of headaches, earaches, light sensitivity and I'm also running a low grade fever. Oh fucking JOY! So tomorrow I have to have an MRI and Wed they have me scheduled for a spinal tap. MY doc was very serious when it came to my new symptoms and said he is not willing to take ANY CHANCES! I sure hope he is just being overly concerned, from what I read, Fungal Meningitis is an OI a person really does not want to get. It can take months to get it under control, if at all, and if not contained death is imminent. It seems it is just one thing after another these days.

    I feel very fortunate that I was able to say NO to the drugs since learning my status 12 years ago. My first HIV doc did prescribe drugs when I first found out but I had just started herbal remedies and felt better than I had in years and didn't want to BElieve that I needed to take drugs. It was then that I bought my first computer and looked for other HIV+ persons on-line so I could get educated and feel less alone. However, I never found one single person that agreed with my decision to not take HIV meds. I was all alone with my decision and yes, I felt like a bullheaded idiot. Yet something inside of me, I Call it SPIRIT, assured me I would BE ok. Spirit was right and I AM so grateful that SPIRIT is so strong in ME.

    So anyway, this week is a bunch more tests and invasive procedures to rule out horrible infections and the following week I will see HIV doc again at which time I will be given a script for Atripla. Many peeps have contacted me and shared their experiences with the drug and most of the stories have been positive, so I AM forcing myself to focus on the positive. It is a struggle but I cannot lie, I AM getting really run down and tired. I like to imagine that the HIV drugs will bestow forgotten energy and vigor to me. I think I have become accustomed to feeling like poo so...there may be a whole new world out there for me. If not, I can always stop the meds and just continue on the way I have been but be a lot more vigilant.

    Well, looks like I have written a blog on your blog. Sorry about that. I get carried away sometimes!

    Hope you have a super Easter and start to feel that Spring Fever and get your window boxes all spruced up ready for life. We just got 13" of snow on Friday so my Spring Fever has taken a snooze but the promise is still lingering.

    BE WELL.

  • The husband of a couple who are friends of mine rarely used his mobile (as we call 'em), so when the time came for him to use it they were perplexed as to where it had gone. The wife eventually found it. What they had mistakenly thought was a cleaning sponge at the bottom of a bucket of water in their kitchen was, in fact, the phone. No one knows how it got there even now, although the two children, the dog and the cat were interrogated.

    Still, he got a nice new one, so that's OK.

    I don't feel Easterly, but then I'm not religious so it has no meaning for me other than an extended weekend and possibly some chocolate eggs. It never seems to have any atmosphere, unlike Christmas. Perhaps it's because it's lighter early, and the shops and streets aren't decorated. Hmm.

  • I understand the anxiety thing, I have a MAJOR fear of large dogs, and just the thought of stopping somewhere that might have a strange large dog freezes me in my tracks. It even keeps me from walking through my neighborhood because some people have large dogs and they sometimes let them run loose. Yeah, I have anxiety about people too. I understand exactly where you are coming from. I also have this stupid anxiety about dropping my car keys into a street sewer/rainwater grate. I've never done it, but I know it would be a catastrophe to do so. So don't feel lonely, we all have really illogical fears.

  • ouch....an innocent phone GONE! so sorry about that. believe me...i know all about that strip in the phone that changes color so that the corporations can force you to buy a new one. the iphone has one as well and even though i've never dropped it, i do check it from time to time lest an errant raindrop finds its way there and changes the color!

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