January 27, 2012

• Today

  I am crippled with anxiety
  the rain is coming down in a steady pace
  I want to curl up into a ball
  I think I have a stomach virus
  I could have gone to work
  I broke my cell phone earlier in the week
  a package came yesterday
  it is the replacement
  no one was here to get it
  it will come again today
  I had a low grade fever on Wednesday
  I would have stayed home on Thursday but I didn't want to use up any more sick time
  I stayed home today
  I think I have a stomach virus
  I sit around the dark apartment waiting
  I hate this
  I can't do anything
  there is clutter everywhere
  I feel alone in the world
  getting old
  getting older,  feeling more alone
  now I'm getting scared.
  I feel raw today
  the rain is coming down and everything is gray
  you can't see very far
  but other people are working
  the world is going on
  I feel regretful and guilty and I am crippled with anxiety
  the day is riddled with holes
  I can not grasp it.
  .
  .

  • 11:37 am
  • 3 Comments