October 27, 2012

• I Woke Up Screaming.

  I'm under duress and I know it.    I tried to get a ton of sleep,  going to bed at 8:30 and taking Benedryl which always knocks me out.

  I fell asleep.   I have had a restless week,  not sleeping well...  I need more sleep.  Not getting enough sleep is detrimental to physical and mental health.   At this time I especially need more sleep and something I prefer not to say has counteracted my system and I am adjusting to the stress.

  I dreamed I was approaching my niece's apartment.  The door was open,  things were kind of in disarray.   As I approached the door,  it started to slam in my face,  literally nearly crashing into my face with such force that I had to defend myself against it and raise my arms.   It fought me,  I tried to push my way in as whatever was behind the door tried to close it on me.

  A terror rose in me,   all of my primal fears were behind that door and my fear of facing them grew as I pushed the door open,  trying to get inside anyway.  I awoke in a powerful blood curdling scream that I am sure woke the neighbors.   

  I got out of bed and looked at the time, it was 12:01 AM,  my heart pounding....    I did not sleep well the rest of the night.

  Earlier in the week I dreamed I found a skull in the woods.  I was holding it up examining it. 

  I am concerned about my thinking and mental duress in this week.      Outside stresses have added to everything.  I have been unable to attend functions.

  Today is a function I need to attend to earn CEUs,  and I am going to have a hard time ,  if I am able at all, to go....

  I need to sleep for 8 hours unbroken.... I will try again tonight...
  ...
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  • 8:18 am
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