November 5, 2012

• After Hurricane Sandy

  Things must be getting back to normal for me after the hurricane. I went to see a musical show called Closer Than Ever because someone had extra tickets.

  I still have no internet and am blogging by cellphone. We were lucky that the water, the East River actually stopped next door. We were the only building on our block with power but no hot water, heat or interner. Now we have heat and hot water. We've had an electric heater so it wasn't so bad.

  I didn't realize how terrifying it was to see the East River breach its banks and nearly reach 2nd Ave.
  Our neighbors in basement apartments were flooded out and lost everything...

  I walked around in a daze not knowing if I could go to work each next day, day by day...for a few days the television had little but storm coverage...

  I went to Starbucks for hours, and Barnes and Noble. To use the internet...

  I felt a sense of helplessness.... I didn't know what to do....

  Little by little I learned of friends and colleagues who lost a whole house, then another, most of a house and both cars washed away...

  On Friday I took the train half way to work and walked the rest, and sat in cold doing nothing in a powerless office, offering my skills if needed...

  On Saturday Astor Place Haircutters was open again so I got a much needed haircut.

  Looking back, and on Sunday...I feel guilty for not helping more.... for not rushing down there, or even to my neighbors aid....I did ask one neighbor if she needed anything or if there was anything I could do...

  I just felt so frozen... I know I will help financially with my colleagues and friends and I plan to donate money but I really feel that I acted selfishly and could have done more to help people...

  I don't know why I am having these guilty feelings..I cannot lift things or carry things because of my arms and back. I was afraid of further injuring myself...

  I'm having a guilty morning, I feel like a crumb...

  • 8:03 am
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