I no longer consciously judge people based on their language use,  I actually never really did,  because I understand the grammatical structures of languages differ, and I have always been of the belief that if information is accurately passed,  then communication has been successful and language is secondary to communication/exchange of information.

I saw an example yesterday across from the workplace yesterday which made me have to stop and think.  The lunch place across the way was having a sale on sandwiches and had a large banner stretched above their store which read:

"SPEICAL!  $2.99 ANY SANDWICH OF THE DAY"

 At first glance I didn't get it on the literal level, but in the gut, "something's wrong  with that statement"...

In the diner down the Avenue,  where we often eat,  they have taped signs around the booths which read;

"It Is Imperative To Always Pay The Cashier"

Anyhow, in light of the odd and often unclear use of the linguistic method for exchange of information,  I present the contents of an email which surfaced in the office email system.   Here is presented a humorous look at last year's top confusing headlines.   I removed the sarcastic remark from beneath each headline, leaving room for your own level of understanding, mis, or lack thereof, and your own recognizition of humor.

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas In Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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I found out buy going to ebay to LIST MORE SHIT TO SELL, but now I have a valid reason NOT TO!

I have stopped all of my auctions,  transferred all of my cash in Pay Pal (Ebay owns Pay Pal) into my checking account except for $1.00, and will pay off my Pay Pal credit balance in full with my upcoming paycheck.

I must show my strength and solidarity.   I won't go into it but it's bad for the little guy and good for the new CEO of ebay.
VIVA LA!!!!?  WELL, VIVA LA PEOPLE!!!!!

ONE PERSON WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
THAT PERSON IS ME!
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...I COULDN'T HELP GETTING THE SECOND BODY FARM NOVEL, after finishing the first.   This is an entertaining way to avoid stuff I should be doing,  like writing.

I recently read that somewhere.

I've been a total blank this whole week.  Biting my lip and enduring the freezing wet weather.  I haven't written a thing but have spent any free time reading my novel,  'carved in bone'   the first of the series of  'body farm' novels.  It isn't all that great in my opinion.  I'm almost finished. They are really just marketing and producing a book for people interested in the macabre,  in the guise of detective work.
how a body rots.
how a bone is or isn't cut.
you know;  all of that interesting stuff about crime and death and bodies laying i a field to rot so you can count the days until the insect eggs hatch.

I admit I can be a bit grim.  If I were younger I think I would be interested in working in some aspect of the field of working with clues to a murder or otherwise investigating the dead on some level.

I have been successfully avoiding writing anything now for nearly a week.  It is easy,  when you are reading and you are reading to "see how someone else writes",  but at least you are reading something you picked out that you thought you'd be interested in and have successfully fooled yourself into thinking that you are 'thinking about writing' which is 'just as good' as actually writing something, if nothing at all, but just writing.

It's easy not to care when it is one hundred fifty degrees below zero and the rain is pounding on the glass and you can't find your other boot and are already sweating,  all bundled up getting ready to go out and face the cold, cold world,   medication nauseating your guts slowly and unsure if you might retch on the way to the subway because you spent too much time reading or otherwise not writing and not eating either and are getting sick off of medication on a other than a yougartwise empty stomach.

I know nothing or not much about "point of view" and how it should be used.
I need to take a class...

"Take a class, man!"!,
 what a sarcastic retort.

We've got this thing with the doorknob falling off,  usually when I leave.  Yes the door knob keeps falling off.  How the hell am I not supposed to read something psychically symbolic and meaningful into THAT?

Speaking of that,  a therapist,  a psychologist down on 70something was hacked to death in her office last night by an insane person with knives and a meat cleaver.  How insane is that!  That only happens in New York Times Best Selling Pulp Fiction novels by CELEBRITY writers.

I'm not posting the link to the news source here.

 You have to have a gimmick or a theme or be a celebrity to write anything and it has to be heavily marketed these days.

  I just realized that this was all total blather just flowing out my head,  an attempt at forcing myself to write something,   as the books and things say.     Blogging is an avoidance at rewriting something I wrote which I have lost all faith in.

I realize that I must be partly manic,  I wrote two full stories on one Saturday several days back,  even posted one for a day,  then removed it.   Now I hate them both and have second thoughts about that and think WHAT?  Am I DILLUSIONAL?


 DEEEEEEEEEEEE- LOSEIONAL!!!  DEEE  LUSIONAL

 It's DEEEE Licious,   it's DEEE LOVELY!   IT"S DELUSIONAL!    De-illusional  deilusional deillusional diluted

    delusional.com

I have blogged a bloggy blog.  The E-Pit-'O-Me of blogs.
A nothing blog.  A simple minded self absorbed and grossly personal blog!
A blog about blogging, cyclic blog, repetitive, redundant, repetitive blog.

What to write when you don't have anything to say.
Why are we compelled to write...

This is so redundant.
Is life redundant?

Ok, here's my question of the week.

Is LIFE REALLY a NEW DAY, EVERY DAY?  Or is it REALLY, the SAME DAY, over and over again??

Really?   I'm going to go suggest that to the featured question people right now.

I am glad it is Thursday.  One more day until the weekend.
I've had a bad week but this morning is better.
 I had a good session of electronic stimulation on my shoulder
in physical therapy and that helps the most.   I don't have much to write but just wanted to write something...

....I don't know
...I don't know why..
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Kilroy was here....
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  I think I had a manic day on Saturday,  I wrote both stories.  They were themes that had been rattling around in my head for literally YEARS but they all of a sudden became wholes,  on Saturday,  just like that.  I was walking in the hallway and whizzing in my head was the end of the first story.  I ran to the computer and pulled up the few paragraphs of it I had started and then spotted another one and that had an ending too. 

They are not ready to send out yet but soon will be.  I'm sending them to small press magazines and short fiction contests.

I don't know why the the hell I'm writing all this.   I didn't know what to write and am reading a book about using blogging to continue writing when you don't know what to write,  or even use the blog to write something.  I have to check out more web based literary outlets.  Anyone have any suggestions?

The main thing was also finding out why I write.  I certainly don't write for money.  I certainly don't write for fame, however in this past year I have come to know the real reason I write, which I've stated before; to process emotion.

My mind is like a yarn netting with a lot of sticks and leaves in it.

Writing is like picking all of those out and dipping it in water.

letting it soak a while.

Sometimes wringing it out.
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A rash of reading rose around me as I wrote about my world.
A rational form of entertainment, at the very least.
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Reading and writing lead to the tails of each other
 like a yin yang
or like tigers turing to butter while being distracted from little black sambos
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