September 8, 2010

  • Angsty Pudding

    I am going to pay a visit to the nice Oral Surgeon today.  It isn't a totally major thing.... some endodontist left part of a root up my canal and capped it anyhow... now it is infected and is eating away at another tooth and my jawbone and has to be cleared out. The tooth right next to it is a crap shoot at this point.

    I hate this.  I don't know WHY I have such anxiety about the dentist....

    I forgot if this guy uses Nitrous Oxide, which I will gladly pay extra for... I don't think he did have it and he isn't going to numb me up too much because the root is dead already...

    What I hate is the LONG needle up into the HARD PALATE in the back of your mouth.... That first one.... I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it...

    ...and then the breaking and the pulling and the prying off of the firmly cemented in cap.   Oh God,  please don't let him break another tooth,  or part of my upper jaw bone off with it... Please please please...

    Please don't make stitches and for my tongue to toy with for days and days and days until they finally break loose in my mouth...

    While all this is happening I will be sitting on the second floor of a building that faces the southern end of Central Park... That is the only redeeming quality..  Last time I was here was pure hell as an actual tooth was being broken from my jawbone and I was looking at a snow covered lower end of Central Park toward the cold, cold North....

    I am shaking,   literally... I so hate the anxiety of dealing with other people, not to mention the pain and agony caused by the pointed and sharp surgical instruments....

    I'm sure to taste blood today,  get a gauze 4 x 4 and a pat on the back...  As I child I think they gave toys or something.... Oh how easy they made it all seem....

    Needless to say,  this is totally ruining my day...  I have one more day after today that is totally BLANK,  aside from the weekend, and that is tomorrow.   

    Goodness knows what I shall do then...

    I did two important things..  I found what I needed to connect my TV to my Computer,  double checked and it is a HDMI wire so I can watch computer shit on the television,  and in doing so,  I found that if I ever get Netflix or Blockbuster video,  I have to update the computer inside the television.

    I probably won't subscribe to either of those services... 

    I wish I had a pill to take the edge off.  I had them before,   Inderal,  a blood pressure medication that can be used for anxiety... I am going to look for one.  I generally only use them when I fly or if I had to go on stage and do something big...

    I'm going to pack something,  maybe the netbook and get the hell out of here and see this oral butcher and then the very next step at this point seems like Central Park but I may just come home and go to bed.... Sometimes this type of procedure and tension gives me a headache.... 

    Oh God.... Here I go.....  I hate this,  I really do.  I wish I had taken better care of my teeth but I know people who are so much worse off and my teeth are actually wonderful for ignoring them as much as I have done....

    There's no tooth like an old tooth.

    A tooth saved is a tooth earned.

    Tooth, or consequences?
    .
    I'm going to search frantically through my travel shit for a tiny tiny orange Inderal!.... Shit,  I should have called for some to have on hand....

    .
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Comments (3)

  • Good luck. Hopefully it'll all go well and be done without any problems. I get tears in my eyes from some of the shots. That's embarrassing. (to me anyway)

  • I hope you find your little helper (Inderal). My thoughts are with you.

  • you have my sympathies! I hate those bastards too and soon i too will rue my avoidance of them! peace, Al

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