I was exposed at an early age,  Mom painted.  My sister paints... I drew and dabbled... not since high school and not with color. I was convinced I couldn't use nor understand color.  I have been exposed to many art concepts repeatedly for over 25 years.  Actually sat through university courses in every discipline in the arts, except music..... in my role as an interpreter...

Anyhow... I have been getting these bizarre eyeball headaches,  the pollen?  My mother has been speaking to me in my head (she crossed over in 2006) and giving me instructions... since...

... since I went to the Michael's arts and crafts store to buy frames for pictures I already have, purchased from other artists as I have been collecting some art, not expensively, over the years..

Anyhow, while there I decided to buy some canvasses and an easel and other stuff... I had some colored pencils and a few acrylics here.  I bought some oils. I have water color and pens and charcoal and an oil pastel set and have used none of this in at least 25 years.. 

I feel like my mother is urging me to paint and not be "afraid" to be prolific and not fret and worry about mistakes and ever since last weekend I have been obsessively painting and drawing every night until the wee hours and up on some type of high.  Only able to lay in bed with an intense ice pick in the right eye type of headache unless I get up and paint or draw...  so I am just doing it... I am flooded with ideas and bought a sketch book to carry with me,  I had to because I have so many ideas that I need to record them... Many involving my mother, and many involving specific styles, or specific materials...

all of a sudden I understand how the materials work with each other, paper, water, canvass, paint, wax, dry ink, pencil, charcoal... even glued on found objects... i can create ideas from start to finish through process without thinking of doing something all at once but making a mistake and "screwing it up" and am totally learning as well. 

I'm photographing all this too which is extremely helpful.  Someone told me I should start showing this to people so I put it up and FB for family and friends and colleagues ( such a bizarre and strange mix of people in the same place!) and I'm putting it here...  I hope I don't lose interest or find it work. Now it is in invigorating,  kind of like I'm in a "zone" and I wonder if my mother's spirit or presence is really influencing me.... like she is doing it through me, or doesn't want ME to be afraid of things and fretful because it prevents you from even trying,  and I think she did that a lot...
 

Flickr: Gotham City Lost And Found's Photostream

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That is the link if you want to see what I have been obsessed with for the past 5 days...
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I would Call it

I had them last night before I went to bed...

You see,  it's like this;   Mother always thought that sugar gave you energy and she never got over it.  Even when refined white sugar became suspect,  she couldn't get over the heavy and early advertising of the health benefits of refined white sugar.  It was marketed as an energy booster early on. 

There was a sugar bowl I would freely eat from.  

Breakfast, because I didn't care for fried eggs and bacon, thankfully,  was cold cereal, usually Lucky Charms,  Sugar Crisp (this was back in the day when "sugar" was not a bad word and products were freely titled "sugar this" or "sugar that"...)  Super Sugar Crisp, actually, and Sugar Bear with the sexy voice was the cartoon image.

Hot cereal was pushed like crack on 110th St. in 1982.  The more I resisted, the more she pushed.  Finally Cream of Wheat won out.  Oatmeal never was a fan of mine...

... If it was cream of wheat, which was my favorite and has turned into an adult comfort food,  winter time delight..... It was smothered in half and half,  butter and yes,  a few spoonfuls of sugar..

Unsweetened cereal,  such as Grape Nuts or Cornflakes ( Dad never stopped calling all cereal "Post Toasties")  was often decorated with fruit slices and glittered with sugar.

We grew up drinking iced tea for water.  Each pitcher of iced tea had a full 2 cups of sugar blended into it.

I will not even talk about Kool Aid.  I remember putting the sugar by the cup full in and making it myself.

There were countless boxes of Popsicles, Otter Pops, Kool Pops... I am sure I consumed sugar by the cup full daily.

Yum.

"how soon is too soon?  Not soon enough."

In the 70's,  when the health food craze struck,  Mom switched to raw sugar and honey... of course this was much better.   Carob lasted all of 15 minutes and then chocolate came back.  Yes mom had a sweet tooth and she passed it down to me.

I remember pissing,  with my cousin, in tandem,  both of us standing before the toilet and watching our streams of urine hit the water , then the waves,  like honey, actually roll down the sides of the bowl. This was a regular occurrence.  ( not the dual pissing with my cousin, but the pissing honey ) and as an adult when I think back and look back on it,  my urine was so thick with sugar that I could actually see the little ripples of it rolling down the sides of the bowl as I urinated...

There was a time when all the dieting women,  and me because it was healthy,  ate grapefruits,  frosted with sugar.

Ok well,  I was a sugar freak and as an adult I have had a hard time with it.

I made the mistake of buying a 6 pack of Russel Stovers Coconut Creme Eggs and a bag of Whoppers "Robin Eggs"...

 

So far I avoided the Easter candy and I did avoid the Valentine's Day candy altogether. 

The last 2 nights have been late desert nights of the malted milk eggs and the coconut cream eggs... Enough to make me nauseous.   I won't buy any more...

I no longer eat candy on a daily basis.  Over the last several years I have changed my habits drastically.  I do not eat sugar on a regular basis, and when I over indulge,  I notice it.  I see how yesterday and today I am so tired when I get up... totally from the sugar...

I no longer eat a candy bar a day.  I choose raw nuts or something better, fruit.. most often...

Sugar is bad.   I have to avoid it.  I do not like how it makes me feel.

When I think of how I grew up depressed and physically weak and fatigued,  I now realize that my poor poor diet was probably very much to blame,  as well with any other anomalies that were there, poor eating habits and not enough plain water made everything worse.
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n the morning of 9/10/2001,  I left my apartment and noticed an injured crow or pigeon when I stepped outside.  When I got home, I blogged about how helpless it felt to see it suffering and know that there was nothing I could do, and that I hoped it was not an OMEN of something bad happening.

 
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Sing a song of sickishness, 
Pocket full of why?
Doesn't really worry
Or care if it should die...

What's going on?
Three days long.
Not on Facebook because the work gang sees it.
How can I stay home sick and be updating my Facebook status?

I'm dizzy,  three days now,  sleeping hard.  Very fatigued, feel like lead.  Heavy.
No other symptoms.  Temperature was 98 yesterday,  96 today. 

On Monday night I feel asleep at 6:30 and did not wake up until 7AM the next day.

The "death sleep" as I call it.

Someone at work fell and split her lip and was out so I went to work.
On Monday I spent my lunch hour asleep,  like death again,  in a study carrell in a library.

On Tuesday I had chicken soup,  two spoonfuls and then tossed it, back to sleep in the library... 

I could actually live in a nice little study carrell.

On Tuesday night I went right to bed at 5:30 and slept through and I was the first one calling in today so I'm home and I always think,  "Oh boy,  I'm home,  what can I do..?"...

Ebay is having a listing sale, perfect timing (I think they follow my activity individually now) so I can list auctions for 25 cents yesterday and today only...

But then I realize that I REALLY don't feel good and am not playing hooky and it's one of those days.

Probably old movies,  couch sleep or actually back to bed.

I am very thankful that my shoulder is getting much much better and I have little pain from that.

Don't forget to always even stuff out with something positive at the very least.

According to the laws of physics, there is always homeostasis so you should seek it too because,  even if you aren't aware of it, balance is here.
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I did the EXACT same thing this guy did,  looked at the wording on the video on the NASA.GOV Buzzroom portion of the NASA.GOV website...

the part toward the end where the STRANGELY worded sentences says  "There is NO GUARANTEE THAT THE EARTH WILL BE MISSED"?

Then NASA.GOV took it down???

This guy CAPTURED the video and here it is, he had the same experience as I did.

Can you download this video from NASA so someone will have it?

If it doesn't work... well, they took it away from YouTube....

They say all of the independent contractors who produce large amounts of freeze dried, and long term store-able foods have been depleted by FEMA...