Monday the world started back up again.  I was good,  centered and grounded,  spent Sunday relaxing, mediating and paying all my bills and starting my 2011 account keeping....  I got lots of sleep and was the first one at work bright and early.

I still have a dry cough...  maybe fighting something... I was able to have 2 lunch hours because someone canceled something so I ate on the first one and actually fell asleep for an hour while waiting for the second appointment.    It actually wasn't 2 lunch hours,  I am paid on retainer when not being used.  In other words,   in the majority of my work,  I am often paid just to be available at specific times.  Then the last hour of the day got canceled and I got dismissed. 

People do not always conform to schedules, but a LARGE part of MY job IS is all about scheduling.  I can't do my job unless the 2 parties who I am working for are in sync... and you know how people are... people have to pay for my time if they are using me or not,  or else I am likely to go elsewhere.   I am often paid to wait,  especially for Dr.s who do not realize the expense it takes to keep me there.

Some people think I just hang around because I have nothing better to do and one Dr. even asked me while I was interpreting a patient's appointment "So, what do you for a living?"   .... talk about stupid....

Anyhow... I don't need to explain. They don't pay me to explain, and people who assume they are the smartest person in the room do not want to hear an explanation, I have learned this from prior trial and error,  nor do they deserve one and I relish being in the glow of an arrogant ignorant.  It makes me smile.

If people are open to being educated I try and explain a few basic things about roles and functions and things... however when they are doing what they are actually supposed to do,  they are HYPER conscious of time,  it is when they are NOT doing what they are supposed to do that the time becomes secondary,  so my input is often not only ignored,  but unwanted.

Fortunately, most of the people I work with are very open and understanding of the concept that we are actually a team.  It is only the specific medical situations, the MEDICAL HIERARCHY and the MEDICAL INDUSTRY where time is sensitive and unexpected things happen and generally the largest problem is the scheduling and the being where someone is supposed to be,  where I and the patient or patient's family are,   at the proper time...

The general social attitude and cultural, pathological perspective of the state of "Deafness" and also the idea of the "helper" role in society are also highly responsible for the misconceptions of these people.   Education is lacking however humanistic courses, interpersonal relations courses and diversity training are finally being incorporated in to good medical curriculum. 

The reasons that doctors went from the person who came to your house to hold your hand when you died to the powerful force in culture they are today are strictly economical, and political, fostered of course by science and research which is not a bad thing however monetary greed (AMA) and the idea of Capitalism vs. anything else are very strong influences.

And of course the BIG SYSTEM.... A lot of people are still students ( residents ) and don't think I don't hear them giggling and having their little coffee klatch while "presenting" while I am standing there and the clock is ticking away.  I often have to go tell them I'm leaving now to end it and make my point.  They have to call someone and argue with them...  I am but an agent with a dispatcher who runs a schedule....  to get someone to come and finish later if that is how it has to be...,  sorry...  I am nice and all and they usually come then and finish...  

Of course claiming "medical necessity" or sending a patient to the ER trumps everything else but then they might be asked to make the decision about which other patient or Dr. to "bump".

Actually ER is not such a big deal for us.   People are triaged and if not serious they can wait.  If it is "serious" they are often incoherent anyhow or unconscious...

We also use machines where people from all over the country can be pulled up on a screen, however,  since it is smack dab in the "melting pot" of Manhattan,  and for a few other reasons,   the majority of population we serve cannot use this service due to unique communication/linguistic needs. 

We have many foreigners and persons with no formal education whatsoever and persons with other disabilities going on as well as linguistic barriers which pose specific problems which are not often seen in the society at large.  Many of these people communicate in a style or have needs which are unique to the individual  and it takes context and background to provide the proper information.

Some people may actually have "no language at all" but no one will assert that claim as we are not actually trained to make that determination, however we can certainly admit that communication is rudimentary at best.

We often use a trained actual Deaf person to be a Primary Interpreter and I put it into English from the Deaf person.  This is because Visual People understand Visual Communication on an innate level that people who have ever had functional hearing can never attain due to neurological mapping and visual memory, spatial relationships and spatial memory and the the way someone has grown to view life and the world.

There are commonalities that Visually oriented people all experience and share that people with hearing do not and are often not aware of.

I have no power here nor do I cause tension.  I have a good personality for that I am quite non-confrontational and good at manipulating professionals by putting ideas into their heads and making them think it was their idea in the first place.

Nurses chat about last night's Dancing With The Stars while I wait for one to ask someone if they are allergic to eggs...

Common sense says I could just ask them and then give the answer to the Nurse however roles, systems, laws and safeguards,   and for good reason,  prevent me from doing so....  I cannot sign the chart unless someone else does the talking and listening..

Someone else is waiting for me,  other patients,  Dr.s,  Nurses...

They need to do away with the white coats in my opinion....The were created specifically to place Dr. and patient at a distance and to give Dr. power.   They should all wear scrubs, clear ID's and coats of various colors,  indifferent, for protection when dealing with patients.

Anyhow... I finished the Stephen King book,  "Under The Dome" and all I can say is Mr. King is a MEAN MEAN MAN....

I'm going to read the Patti Smith autobiography "Just Kids" about she and Robert Mapplethorpe in the early days in the city.   She just won the National Book Award for it.  I have 3 autographed copies but I have to buy a non-signed copy to read....

I sold like a 1000 $ worth of Christmas ornaments on eBay so I am thrilled at how much space I have created in my closets! 

Anyhow.... the morning ablutions;  shit, shave and shower are calling me ......

How's your new year going??

( this was updated on 1/5/11 to be a significantly different and new post )
.

I have stayed home the past few years....

I have been off work for almost 3 weeks!  I am starting to get bored.  I have done a lot this vacation time and I am dreading the start up of the world again next week... I do so enjoy and am thankful for the amount of free time I have been blessed with.

I would not attempt Time's Square, especially after 9/11,  but not with the crowd and the police barricading and everything... and no drinking on the street!  I should have done it when I first moved here but it was always too cold.

I don't feel like drinking recently....   I have only had one beer and some vodka all holiday season,  oh, and the specially made bootleg Eggnog that is produced in someone's kitchen in Queens....  That was good...

Anyhow... I don't know what to do.  I feel the holiday winding down and am getting anxious and a bit bored.

What are you doing for New Year's Eve, if anything???

Way too early on Christmas morning, I hear the presents rustling under the tree.
Again,  Willow is the first one up, way too early on Christmas morning to find his catnip  infused gift. 

On Christmas, Willow is always the first up and at his toy.What is odd, is that other times of the year he couldn't care less about catnip or toys.  He is always so SWEET on Christmas Morning...

I had to get up and film him and am still half asleep... even before the sun is up. . warning: these videos are actually kind of boring unless you like watching cute kitties...
.
.
.part two...... in which Willow gets bopped in the face. ( it's an accident ) ..
.
.

It is an "off" day,  not a terribly negative off day,  just an off off day.  Of course I'm off work for the Xmas holiday. 

It is the first day of winter and I got plenty of sleep.  I did not wake up to practice yoga on the mat as I had envisioned.

I am cold.  I turn my little fireplace on and sit at the computer and cannot clean my desk. 

I was going to go out and buy some stuff.   I need to eat breakfast.  I am worried about my brother in Colorado who has just had a 5 way by-pass.   His failing health is not new nor unexpected,  but it is worrying and stressful nonetheless. 

There is nothing material I want for Xmas, that I did not buy.  What I bought was a green 10 cup Brita water pitcher and some stuff for the apartment and candy and crap... I gave money to the Salvation Army to buy Xmas gifts for needy children who live in my neighborhood. 

My fish is dying.  It is dinofish anyhow because it is probably about 3 years old now.  A single female Betta,  I always either have a Betta or a Paradise fish and they nearly always live to be incredibly old.  I keep wanting to film and photograph stuff but I don't.  This female Betta, I never even named her,  has actually gone gray and is all stove up.  She can barely make it to the top when I feed her.   

I have a unique ability to interact with fish and animals.  When I had a 50 gallon salt water tank,  my hilarious Unicorn Tang, with his pinocchio nose tapping the glass was always waiting right there by my head for me to wak up and feed him.  When he saw me stir, he would get exited and he would eat his shrimps right out of my fingers.

I really miss having a Unicorn Tang, they are so cute and lovable,  the most interactive of any fish I have ever had the pleasure of caring for.

I need to check Willow's blood glucose level.  He hasn't been given insulin since March and has been fine, he eats pure protein food but I haven't been checking his blood glucose.  He has gained weight and maintains it and self rations his food a bit and has a good appetite.

 He rarely eats dry food and when I do give him some crunchies, it is Core Protein by Wellness which is also grain free. 

I haven't been taking care of his teeth.  I am bad about caring for my cat's teeth.  Of course dental health is related to coronary and digestive health and everything else too so if you want a healthy cat to live a long time you should also care for its teeth,  just a brushing, I have a ribbed finger cot and a kitty toothbrush and toothpaste but I am too lazy.

Speaking of which.   I should get off and do something.  My one terrible chore is taking some shit to the post office that I sold on eBay...

I should got to look at the new LG Phone I want to see if my SIM card will work in it if I buy it unlocked from an independent vendor, like I usually do as I hate the idea of paying too much for a phone plan and will not sign a cellphone contract, since 2002, and T-Mobile would just LOVE for me to make some type of change to my cherry phone plan so they can get more money from me but I love holding this plan and refusing to give it up.  They hate me.  They have nothing I want.

The fact that I have refused to have a contract,  just for the sake of not wanting to have a contract,  yet have held and maintained the same service and account since 2002... is that irony?

I actually don't need a new cell phone. I want to keep Windows Mobile and a QWERTY keyboard and the HTC Dash still is working fine.

What are you doing on this holy of holiest days?  The Solstice, the shortest day which actually means the SUN begins to grow and stay around longer and longer and this is a HARBINGER of SPRING.

Don't you just love the word "Harbinger"?

Bernadette Peters is on TV talking about her performance in a Little Night Music,  her perfect Broadway solo of Send in The Clowns which I saw from second row and could literally see her pulse in the veins in her feet.

I love Bernadette.

What are you doing on this harbinger day?

The day the "sun" is reborn in the eastern sky under the constellation Virgo,  in the cycle which has been revered since humanity has recorded its presence.
.
..

I thought I had stomach flu.  I missed work last Friday and last Saturday and Sunday I didn't feel so great. I was worse on Sunday and Monday but went to work feeling sick on Monday because I had to.   I was off Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday.  On Thursday someone took my keys by mistake and I thought I had put them in the trash and or something and I did not know where they were until the person called me at 8:30 PM after realizing they had my keys. 

That was a stressful day because I thought I also may have left them in the door and one of the workers working in another apartment took them... I tore my apartment apart and was really tense and felt awful yesterday,  worked but left the Christmas party early and did not go out to the bar with the gang afterward.  Went to bed at 8PM,  vomited at 1:30 AM and have been in bed all day.

I JUST looked at the side effects for Meloxicam which I have been taking for some minor back pain for a week and THAT is what has making me feel sick at my stomach.

I tend to not really check side effects on something such as a muscle relaxer or pain reliever because I don't want to influence myself.   So I thought the script said Motrin and I thought this was generic for Motrin... but anyhow.  I will stop taking it immediately and hopefully my stomach will go back to normal.

I need to go shopping tomorrow.

shit.  my apartment is a mess too... I'm so not in the Christmas spirit today.  Now I'm watching a cheesy movie called Kraken about a giant squid.  Then I'm going back to bed...
.
At least, and thankfully I don't have stomach flu and don't have to go to the Dr. just to find out it is the nsaid or naisd or whatever it is...
.
.
..

I come home from work and I don't feel like doing a thing.  Is it only Wednesday?  At least it is Wednesday.

I have a naked pine tree standing right next to me and I don't smell a thing.  I haven't any Christmas Spirit since last Sunday...

This tree won't get decorated until Saturday and I looked at it this morning and thought..."What have I done"...  I've given myself another project which at one point was kind of exiting but now is beginning to seem like a rote habit or practice that holds little meaning except to buy some stuff...

I am going to "adopt an angel" ,  at JC Penny this year for my big Christmas spending...,  they have teamed up with the Red Cross to find needy children.  You can choose by zip code or just random.  I have decided to buy toys for a needy child in my neighborhood,  and if warm clothing is needed that too.

It tells you the needs and wants of the child.   This is what I am going to spend the bulk of my money on this Christmas as there is nothing I want or need.   Actually I just lied, I want a new cell phone,  but I don't need one... 

I just want one so I may get one but it doesn't have to be for Christmas,  I can appreciate after Christmas sales.  I am going to provide Christmas for a needy child this year.   That is the basic thing I feel like doing,  and having the time off and getting rid of clutter by selling stuff on eBay....

...Stuff I used to covet which is now more than meaningless... It is anti-meaning,  meaning it shows a shallow desire for sparkly objects and a foolish disregard for the funding that is worked so hard for.

It shows a system of rewarding emotions that disguises a painful system of self flagellation for the spending of money produces but temporary happiness....

It has been many many years since I worried about paying a bill and for that I am grateful.   I learned my lesson about money a long long time ago.  I can not live and thrive under self-induced financial stress so I am very thrifty and the older I get,  the more I realize the waste I have produced by material desires and youth and ignorance....

bla bla bla...

...anyway,  this all just got blogged out for no reason but that is what I do....   fingers become dendrites tapping at keyboard axons,  neural network interface with electronic device...

I am bending into what is and pouring myself on the week... at least it is Wednesday... I'll be an empty vessel again by the weekend and can construct a minor holiday crash pad out of this glittered and yuletide debris strewn cracker-box...

.

I felt I waited too long last year.  It wasn't so early, people get them at Thanksgiving... I first picked up a small table top one which was about 2 feet tall but my heart sank... I got a nice 5 or 6 footer, a nice smell.  It took all of Sunday to set it up,  really clean out the closet of boxes of Christmas decorations and set the tree up.  It is in one of those red and green metal stands, taped to a piece of foam board which is taped to the side of an old computer that I took out of the closet to remove the hard drive from before throwing the body out,  turned on its side it is the perfect little booster for the tree... then I strung the lights and that was all I could do.  

Little by little over the week,  in the evenings, although I've done nothing so far... I will make sure plants behind it are accessible and electrical outlets are accessible and position it where it won't be in the way and decorate it.

I have listed, sold or are listing most of the large Xmas decorations for sell on eBay so I won't have to repack them!  I am an expert at condensing things but still there is little space and I prefer to have more space, which there will be...

bla bla bla... closet cleaning,  thrift shop donating and selling shit on eBay is not only a good way to reduce clutter,  but it is a good way to get rid of stuff without just setting it on the sidewalk and watching from the window while people inspect it and or take it...

So that is that... I am half way through The Dome by Stephen King and it is really juicy.  It isn't so horrifying nor scary as much as it is human drama....  Of course there is violence and killing and dead bodies and even possible reverse terrorism ( I coined that term, by the way ) the government turning against an American town,  or the possibility of it... anyhow...  I am enjoying it.  Amazingly the characters are very easy to keep up with as although there are many, most have minor roles... 

I will take some photos, here are some photos of the cat and last Saturday night I watched Swordfish, the old movie... and made "crafts" which is basically I glued a bunch of "loose parts" and items to things to make two little Christmas decorations, one is glued to a tile and the other is glued to a small mirror,  a snowman scene and a vintage ceramic Christmas boy scene...

This is what I did instead of going out. 
Isn't my life exiting?

   

a bunch of little pieces come together as scene.
i have a glue gun.

The cat has been getting real chicken patties from the freezer section of the pet food store. 
If there is ever a famine or something I could live off of them AND the cat.
.
.

Not sick time,  cold time as in yesterday on the way home from work I put my mittens on for the first time.  Tomorrow is supposed to be a Winter blast.

I so hate demands.
.
.
.
.