.
Yep, last night it either dipped below 55 or the landlord is generous.  He is generous usually.   I used the electric heater twice already, the last two days have been really chilly in here...

Rainy and Fall-like over night...

It takes time to get used to a new mattress.  I suppose that is why they give you 60 days to try it. 

I was disappointed as I haven't actually had my real "Sealy, Posturepedic Morning" yet...

It is much more comfortable,  I think my body is just in a guarded state...

It is Wednesday and the middle of the week.  I cannot wait for the weekend.  It got all messy and cluttered in here getting out the sweaters and jackets, scarves, hats and gloves and organizing shoes and blankets and getting rid of dust...

...dust... my nose is a bit stuffy,  I have to remember to humidify the room... the radiator takes all the moisture away...  I am used to it..  the plants are in distress all winter but I keep them wet, or they die...

There is a humidifier here...

My cell phone is on the blink and I am afraid it is just the age and I need to upgrade, but I'm waiting for the 4G phone from Tmobile to come out in Fall....

I am out of ink in the printer.  I have ignored several chores...  I sold stuff on ebay and nobody has complained but I haven't mailed anything... this is the first time I have gone so long neglecting it...

I feel the changing of the season,  I always do,  physically... it isn't a bad thing... just an adjustment...

My world is mostly okay...

How is your world?
.
.

.
.
http://www.autisable.com/733592521/my-deaf-family/

although this has nothing to do with autism,  they asked for submissions and I blogged this and thought it was related,  like 9 months ago!

They finally accepted it.

... it's a cold and rainy week.  I've done gone Facebook and my shoulder hurts...

The Road Less Traveled,  or The Road Not Taken?

I wish to spend my Halcyon Days in the Elysian Fields...


Please Advise.

.

.

Don't bring home one of these pretty plants for Fall:

This is a common houseplant called "Croton"...

I thought it would be a nice decoration and prevent me from going to the park to collect branches of Fall leaves or buy some at Pier 1.  

I generally get eucalyptus and gather Fall leaves in the fall...  My early Euro/Pagan blood flows strong, and the old ways beckon to me...

Willow thought this was a pretty plant too and was attracted to it,  of course it was sitting on the floor... and there are plenty of poison plants all around the house.

In general,  any houseplant is dangerous to cats...  I get that cat grass and he doesn't bother it...  He SELDOM takes a bite of a plant but once in a while he'll be nibbling at a leaf,  I don't know if it is play or for some nutritional reason but cats often nibble plants,  dogs and cats eat grass for digestion.     

That being said,  there are hundreds and hundreds of common house and yard plants that are toxic to cats, dogs, still poisoning deaths are fairly rare considering the number of animals and plants in the environment.  They increase at holiday times with displays and decor.

Willow took a nibble and I shooed him away as I generally do...  

About 10 to 30 minutes later,  he may have nibbled again,  I picked him up to carry him to the kitchen to feed him and noticed he was in distress.  He was taught and began to start to vomit,  as cats often do with hairballs and dry food that has been gobbled down too quickly... 

I put a towel under him to catch the spew and only a few drops came out,  THEN, he started seizing and convulsing,  writhing around on the floor,  I was on the floor on my knees at this point also holding him... he lost control and flailed and started pissing!

 Yes,  I was certain he was dying and begin begging to the Christian God named Jesus,  who I generally don't pay all that much attention to,  to help him and not let him die...

I have beliefs about why people do this in times of distress which could be rationalization,  or could be Satan,  if he exists,  I personally don't believe he does but plenty of people do.... which makes me ignore Jesus when I am not totally scared shitless... 

Cats will NOT urinate nor defecate under stress,  or while you are holding them,  so I knew he had lost neurological control which also happens at the moment of death...  I am glad that either Jesus did listen,  told God,  God stopped Willow from dying on my behalf,  or he didn't think it was all that important and didn't really care and Willow wasn't going to die anyway...

Or,  to take it step fundamentally farther,  grew frustrated and angry with me for bothering him about a cat and gave me further reason to end up eternally in Hell... which would entirely depend on what I chose to believe,  which isn't that....

I'm not totally dissing him and trying to deny his existence,  I came to terms with all this being beyond the scope of human comprehension when I understood it was beyond human logic,  years ago....  

....so anyway... I'm praying and arranging the towel to catch the pee which is arching up like that of a newly born infant,  and then running down the tilting kitchen floor.  I certainly thought he was dying...

Then he calmed down , this lasted only as long as it takes a cat to flail and pee... and then he walked right to his food bowl and took a shit.

Cats can take shits when they are terrified,  literally scared shitless so this could have been the case,  it could have been just convulsive peristalsis or he could have been eliminating toxin... I don't know...

He seemed to get better.

The Animal Poison Control center will not give you any type of advice without a "case fee" of $38 dollars.

The Animal Medical Center,  which is a HUGE FULL HOSPITAL for animals only,  with places for horses and elephants and every type of animal and actual floors and wings for cardiology, orthopedics.... specialties... and waiting rooms and little animal sized stretchers in the emergency entrance where I have been before when I forgot why I took Willow before.

I called the Animal Hospital and was prepared to hop in a cab with the cat in tow and take him but he seemed okay...  The person on the phone said the Dr.s don't answer the phone but I need to bring him in NOW and NOT WAIT it could HAPPEN AGAIN and he could DIE and the consultation fee was $168.00.

I Googled about plants and poison and seriously considered this but I read some stuff,   asked a question to an "online vet"   who gave me as much information as the risk was "low" and the need for treatment was not "urgent" and for $38 dollars she would answer me in person and chat...

It is an animal scam profiting off of the emotions of people...

of course this is how things work... you should have seen it in the 1700's for people...

the ASPCA was founded at least 100 years before ANY type of CHILD WELFARE organization...

fuck her... she just wants my munny.....  If this were a child,  I wouldn't have to question the financial part because the tax I voluntarily pay would cover it.

Cats are not children.   I can  also stay home and not go to jail, nor am I morally compelled by any conventional religion to care about the animal's life...

I gave the cat some milk and he ate his food and he began to play with his ribbon on a stick when taunted...

He survived the night...

I have to think about my reluctance to fork out a couple of hundred bux.  He was better quickly..  I felt resentful at being "taken advantage of"... I struggled with the "value" of an animal's life.

I could have afforded to do this and not felt it...   I just used what I consider is faith but maybe I am fooling myself... I just didn't think he was still in that much danger...

I didn't want to "waste" money... I didn't want to "buy into" a system of profit from emotion, specifically related to the industry of medicine...

I was too lazy to get dressed and go out.

I know I am cheap.   All my bills are paid on time.   I have little financial stress.    This just works... 

I don't have an answer...  Willow is fine.... My daddy would have laughed at my love for this useless animal...
(although I know secretly he must have loved an animal too at some point, knowing him)..

I just don't know...

Ok Willow,  at least 3 lives gone by now... only 6 more to go...
.
The reason that the Christian God and Jesus and all that question was on my mind was because I was reading this WONDERFUL NOVEL called FOREVER which begins in 1700's Ireland (and continues to the present day).  There is a lot of history about England,  Popes, Pagans and what would be considered oppression by Churches of all persuasions and Kings and Queens and slave profiteers... 

It is becoming the best book I have ever read.
.
.
.

 

SHOCK: Gay Texas 13-Year-Old Asher Brown Shoots Himself

Children are not to blame.  Somewhere in this mix there are guilty adults.
.
.

.

I made a joke about suicide on my last blog post about the owner of Segway ( not the inventor, the guy who purchased the company)...

..okay,  someone wants to commit suicide so they jump off a cliff only the cliff is too far away to walk to... ha ha ha...

...then I hear about not one,  but TWO chefs from the reality television cooking shows,  who were ROASTED by the HOST,  I mean they were really BURNED TO A CRISP and this takes the meaning of if you can't take the HEAT getting OUT OF THE KITCHEN TO A whole new level! 

..but this is being a bit overdone...

  it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to flavor suicide in general as an act of VENGEANCE or as a RESULT of some OCCURRENCE...

  I would like to set the record straight.

This man was probably thinking of suicide for YEARS.   This man probably thought and thought and the facts are that according to his family he was okay about the show HOST experience,   the television show SAVED his restaurant and BOTH of these SUICIDES have  FULL LIVES that WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT...

so it is very very stupid to assume a reason for someone's suicide as a simple "cause and effect" situation.

There are,  of course, those stupid and young Romeo and Juliette type of suicides,  but people commit suicide for as many different reasons as there are people...

..that said, one cannot discount the amount of PERSONAL PAIN and HELL that someone must have gone through to make this decision.

It is pure DEFENSE MECHANISM on YOUR  part to assume that an act of SUICIDE is always a childish reaction to hurt someone,   or to "strike out"  in some way at others.

The FACT is that the MAJORITY of WOULD BE suicides have most likely KEPT THEMSELVES ALIVE for the SAKE of OTHERS.

It is entirely possible that people can decide to take their own lives with complete rationalization... for whatever reason and one cannot assume that a suicide has just "given up"... or "couldn't take it"... and then burden the dead with guilt.

Suicide in any form or fashion is tragic and it is only human nature to "project" one's own psychology onto the world and behavior of others...

But you CANNOT ASSUME that YOUR PERSONAL HELL is the same as anther's PERSONAL HELL and you cannot attempt to know,   and most suicides don't leave notes,    most unsuccessful suicides are relieved to have not died and had changed their mind at the last possible moments...

I do not support suicide nor do I believe that people have the "right" to commit suicide.  I do believe from personal experience that life can ALWAYS improve if you work at it from the inside and I see it from how people have survived in historical situations.

Suicide is always tragic for everyone involved and harms society,   however, when I begin to attack a victim,  or view a suicide as an "immature" act of selfishness,  giving up,  lack of strength... or in any way as some type of negative opinion on the dead... I remind myself that I do not know this person's life nor their internal struggle and decision making process...

I also remind myself that I am experiencing what is described in the field of psychology as a reaction by my own ego and then I go back and read my basic psychology texts and try to UNDERSTAND why the suicide of ANOTHER makes ME FEEL the way I FEEL about it... be it pity,  smug judgment or harsh blame...

It is like God/ess itself....  Unless they wrote it down with their own hand,   you are just making up your own mind about it in order to come to terms with your own feelings,  of course...

...and that has little to do with reality of the person who shot themselves, jumped in the river, or intentionally rides a pogo stick across the LONG ISLAND EXPRESSWAY just to leave a couple of close friends something to laff about!.
.
.
post script:  in this context I am not referring to "euthanasia",  I am referring to traditional "suicide".  The issue is "euthanasia" and suicide when there is little hope of recovery is an entirely different issue. 

I speak of changeable  human anguish and pity those without the means or ability to ask for help.

I believe most suicides are mistakes but do not put guilt on the victim for the loss of hope nor the ability to make rational decisions.

I cannot speak for completely rational suicide, and I believe it does exist... 

Hopelessness without tears is something I don't want to experience.
.
.
.

Would it make it any funnier?

Owner of Segway Dies in Accident After Driving Off a Cliff

 

Since these were featured on Lovleyish, people have commented that they were expensive.  I though they might be a few hundred dollars so I looked on Google.  I could not find these exact shoes however I found a USED pair of the open toed version are on sale on EBAY for $1,500!!!

Would You Wear Louboutin's Spiked Pump?

THEN... I started seeing the PRICES of EXPENSIVE shoes...

I am so stupidly ignorant....  I shop at DSW and now I see why...
.
.

And I made Lovelyish

Monday, 27 September 2010

And it is my original photo.  I should have paid more attention to the cropping.  Shit.  I deleted the originals.

Would You Wear Louboutin's Spiked Pump?

 Thank you Lovelies for doing the research and finding out the designer.  Next time I'll know to look at the designer, and the price tag!

 This is my Fashion Debut!  I should go walking up Madison Avenue more often..