I was walking up Madison Avenue one sunny Sunday afternoon in late August and I snapped this, among the upcoming 2010 Fall Fashions.
I regret not noting the designer's name, nor the store, I must admit it was the display with milk thistle pods in the arrangement that really got me.
But I was curious, Xanga Fashion Victims, how many of you would sport these??
...and the men, however you like your woman's shoes, on her, or on yourself... what do you think?
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I used $10,000 of a government grant to take courses earning 36 upper division college credits in my chosen field, because the field is new and the work is difficult and the skill is in such demand. In exchange for this, all they wanted in return was a log of 2400 hours showing statistics of the people I had worked for and what I had done in a 5 year period of time, these were actual worked hours of my regular work since I already practice in the field..
Ok, after the first 2 years I turned in half of the hours. I owed 1200 hours, the log of the hours, by the end of this past June.
The deadline passed.
I am a horrible procrastinator.... being that, I did not keep something like a running spread sheet, I just kept a log by hand in my regular day calendar...
Then I was forced with typing the log by hand.... and also, from procrastination, and getting a letter last week telling me that my name was about to be given to "the government" as one who has not turned in all the hours and in this economy, I do not want the government thinking I owe them money back... so LONG story short...
I typed a log of 1200 hours, by hand, about 28 pages, during the 48 hour period of last Monday and Tuesday...
This after taking 6 weeks off of work with this being one of goals.... the one that went undone...
This leads up to the topic of this blog post.... The first day I was fairly fine most of the day... I am no stranger to sitting at the computer for 9 solid hours to produce something that is due the next day that I had put off doing when I did have the time...
I was no where near as far along as I thought I would be, need at least 3 more hours before I could let myself rest, and sleep thinking I could possibly finish the next day... so I got the bright idea that why don't I try one of those RED BULL drinks, but not RED BULL because I had tried it before and it didn't really work , and tasted like shit... so I remembered seeing all of these all over the place all of a sudden everywhere I go:
I could not believe it. I continued to type for a several more hours until it was 11 PM, having put in a good sold 12 or more hours of constantly typing.
Yes my bi-lateral carpal tunnel syndrome was acting up so I wore the braces...
Yes my shoulder hurt like hell the next morning but I had Ibuprofen and Hydrocodone from the dental work, and plenty of coffee and a full day ahead of me, so at 6:30 AM on Tuesday morning, right after the Patty Duke Show on This TV, I started pounding out my log. Little calendars scattered all around, file cabinet drawers hanging open, papers strewn about the apartment...
It lasted a couple of hours and I got real tired, time for the second little red bottle of FUEL 5 HOUR ENERGY SHOTS...
Well, again it worked like a charm and I was at the typewriter ALL DAY like 17 hours this time with a couple of naps thrown in and a trip to the bodega for another overpriced 2 pack of the little red bottles...
I wasn't finished and finished tallying the hours and stapling all of the 26 to 30 pages or so at 8 am on the subway on the way back to the first day at work on Wednesday morning... Okay hours are done... they want a few more typed pages and cover letter and statement of obligation fulfilled and some such shit but basically I'm done...
I will never sign on the dotted line again as long as I live...
But anyhow... it's Wednesday and I'm working , and things are going fine but I get tired after lunch, like really tired... I am actually functioning in my job and realizing that I am physically asleep. Of course I am sitting in a chair and working and all of a sudden wake up with someone giving me very odd looks having no idea what I have just said or done but fully aware that I had just woken up from actual "sleep" although my body still functioning in the world...
Thank God I had that fourth bottle of FUEL 5 HOUR ENERGY SHOT still in my bag. I drank it down...
Now mind you, I had not suffered any "Crashes" as true to the advertising on the bottle, no speedy symptoms and no crashes... but I was really tired and felt I needed this shot...
On Thursday morning I could hardly get out of bed... I had to eat breakfast on the subway and need to stop at Rite Aid and get another of those shots.... I considered a 6 pack but just got one...
I almost did not make it through Thursday and literally slept on the subway on the way home , nearly missing my stop and going right to bed without dinner and passing out the whole night...
This morning I was SO FATIGUED and even I felt a bit sick that I could not go into work. I called in at 7 am and lay back down and did not see the light of the world until 1 PM! then I ate something just to take my pills, hardly able to drag myself off of the bed and had to set the alarm at 4:30 so I could get my appointment with the therapist over the telephone because I could not drag myself out.
Now I've typed this and am so exhausted I am going back to bed...
I didn't care at the beginning if the FUEL SHOT was the placebo effect, I know I am suggestible and I didn't care, It woke me up and that was my goal... it work 3 or 4 times but then I DID CRASH and it was horrible..
I don't know how these things work, I wouldn't be surprised if it were placebo but they do have caffeine and other herbal stimulants in them.... I won't say I will never use one again, but if I do, it will be ONE and not a series in one week trying to push myself.
I feel I crashed hard today and I blame how I used the FUEL shots. I feel that the more I used the more I was tempted to use and the less I worried about getting enough sleep. I did get enough sleep the days I used the shots but it seems as if it did build up anyway and caused a big crash on the 4th day and after the 5th bottle.
Although I had no palpitations or stimulation side effects, I do think they are dangerous.
What do you think? Have you used these Energy Drinks? What have been your experiences??
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Well...
...Actually, NO you were NOT able to resolve my internet/modem problem and I have decided NOT to WASTE anymore TIME waiting for someone to "help" me on the telephone.
I emphasize WAITING TIME... You obviously have more customers than you can deal with, so I've gone back to Time Warner and TMobile.....
NOW, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DETACH MYSELF FROM YOU PEOPLE???
do I need a SURGEON??? I am certainly NOT NOT NOT going to WAIT WAIT WAIT and WASTE WASTE WASTE another MOMENT OF MY LIFE
.... WADING THROUGH THE VERIZON AUTOMATED HELL TO GET TO A REAL PERSON....
....ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD WHO HAS TO WALK ME THROUGH the SAME SHIT for 3 HOURS before he will LISTEN TO ME...
because obviously I'm such an IDIOT that I don't know what is happening on MY END....
.... OR... to be told that the customer service center is CLOSED ON THE WEEKEND???
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE????????????
I'M NOT CLOSED ON THE WEEKEND, AND NEITHER IS TIME WARNER!
MY BILL IS PAID, I HAVE NOT HAD SERVICE FOR ALMOST 3 WEEKS!
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR LOUSY 3 CENTS CURRENT CHARGES AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
NOW CUT MY FUCKING LAND LINE OFF AND DISASSOCIATE YOURSELVES FROM ME
LIKE YESTERDAY...
I"M not going to WAIT ON THE FUCKING PHONE FOR YOU...
TO CANCEL MY SERVICE!
UNDO ME ALL UP IN HERE ALREADY WOULD YA???
I AM FOREVER DONE WITH VERIZON.HELL
THANK YOU, former customer.... now fully relieved to be rid of you suckers.
GENERIC CUSTOMER DISCONNECTION NOTICE AS OF DATE OF MY LAST SERVICE
LOSS...
I WILL NEVER AGAIN BE A VERIZON CUSTOMER IF I HAVE TO GO TETHERED TO TMOBILE!!!
ANOTHER DISGRUNTLED CUSTOMER
--- On 9/12/09, Verizon High Speed Internet Technical Support <verizon.hsi.tech.supt@verizon.com>
From: Verizon High Speed Internet Technical Support <verizon.hsi.tech.supt@verizon.com>
Subject: Support Call Follow-Up: Generic Support Information
To:
Date: Sunday, August 29, 2010, 1:54 PM
wrote:
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I don't understand how someone so young can have the maturity to do this... I think he is about 13 or 14 but there were several other children in this performance and this play seems tough. He needs a TON of stamina, it is quite a long play and very very vigorous.
I didn't know children sweat but he was sweating just like the adults.I love seeing Broadway shows the way they should be, singing and dancing. They dance their little hearts out and you can tell it is a lot of work.
The dramas can be good too but are sometimes boring...
I prefer a traditional type of Broadway show and Billy Elliot was it.
If you have never seen the Movie, you should see it as well. The boy in the movie is a remarkable dancer/actor as well. Of course the Broadway version is a musical so it is different than the movie, not too much, but a Broadway show.
Of course this kid has been training and taking classes for years but when I was this age, I was so self conscious and aware of myself that I could never have separated reality from myself....
I mean I could intellectualize about acting and pretend but I could never really separate my "self" from what I was doing and the reality of the situation, or the non reality as it were....
I didn't really learn how to do be in a professional "role" until I was an adult.This guy is going to go far. He is quite some talented dancer and this is a HARD role for a kid!
I was amazed!
Soon I may be seeing A Little Night Music with Bernadette Peters and Elaine Stritch! I am not sure yet, someone is trying to get us tickets!
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Who will be my 30,000th? I will never know because I don't know how to tell.
According to the Map software in the column on the left, since I began using that software, in January, 2002 this number will be attained with 9 more visits.
I actually was on Xanga before that... I'm sure at least 20,000 visits have been myself and the rest must by the few loyal people who read this and some other people who stumble here due to various Google searches.
I got up at 5:00 and was disappointed to find that Outer Limits is not on today, it was Highway Patrol, and now Sea Hunt and then The Patty Duke show.
Nothing to report but the weather has changed. Fall is here already and literally tomorrow. Leaves on the morning glory plants are changing, turning brown but they look like Fall leaves to me. I don't have the Fall Spirit yet, but I am sure it is coming soon....
..It has gotten chilly, windows closed at night but may heat up again... Nobody really knows.
Tee Vee is so full of it...
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...things are rather slow all up in here...
I really HATE playing MONOPOLY with only ONE other PLAYER.... it seems to GO ON FOREVER....
...alas... RCN, Optimum, OKCable, Comcast... what else is there.?.. I did call 877 393 FOUR FOUR FOUR EIGHT>>>> without asking what the number was... I swear I tried. I even looked at the satellite thingys...
I'm hanging by a tether literally... at least I kicked VERIZON DOT HELL in the ASS! and got to yell at several people AND actually slam the phone down in a supervisor's ear...
so I followed through on my threat to them... finally....
There are no other choices...
The Road Runner is paying a visit this weekend...
Beep Beep..
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I think I was high on Vicoden when I blogged after dental surgery yesterday. I feel sick and was in intense pain by the time I got home yesterday. I did not have the energy and felt sicker and the pain really set in quickly so I ended up after blogging, not walking anywhere but going directly to the subway, which was a mistake because I was really in intense pain by the time I got to the pharmacy where I sat and waited for my new prescription.
The 2 Vicoden (Hydrocodone!) I had taken, one in the morning and one directly after the procedure when I left the dentist office apparently do lose their potency, they were 2 or 3 years old anyhow...
The new Vicoden make me much more buzzy by also queasy and give me a slight headache although I am on like 875 Augmenten, or Amoxicillin or whatever it is 2 times a day so that screws me up royally and causes headaches as well...
I did need to today off. I had a miserable night last night, I kept thinking I was going to vomit and the vomit was going to get into the incision area of where my molar was where stitches are now.... That didn't happen...
I tossed and turned all night. I woke up snoring and the floor of my sinus vibrating, I jumped up with a start and put on one of those sticky nose openers to help you breath and then I adjusted pillows to sleep on side hugging pillows...
I talked and talked all night and have been having wild dreams although I don't really remember details... I am not sure if I ground my teeth but I really talked up a storm. I was hearing voices too and going in and out of my body with astral projection. It wasn't unpleasant but I know I did not rest well... I have been sleeping all day today and have eaten applesauce and yogurt and I bought keifer with probiotics and other pro-biotic things, protein drinks, fiber powder, soft bars and a lot of good soups and chili and refined beans and cheese and many fruits and vegetables I am going to make fruit smoothies for the next several and use vitamin supplements but I certainly prepared for not chewing for 6 solid days, pun intended...
I need to start recording these dreams and I do remember wisps of living by a river...
I have discovered recently that over my life time, dreams take place in a limited number of "locations" and time has passed in these locations as well. I can acutally catagorize my dreams, most of them, through my life, to a series of locations, scenarios and characters, which grow and change as I do yet keep the same parameters, all of my life, as if they are actual dream "worlds"..... I discovered this least year while playing with parallel life awareness guided visualization exercises. It is mind numbing . I am beginning to believe that in dreams I am actually visiting locals that are real in some type of way...
I hope the dreams continued.... It was many years that I did not remember dreams, after an early life of vivid and strong dreaming...
I'm going to try and do the Times Friday Puzzle today.... if I can print one out through being tethered to my cell phone... if not I'll just do it on line but I hate that... I like pen and paper, and Sharpie fine point, random color or colored ink. Yes doing the crossword in colored ink is my fetish... so sue me....
I may just fall back asleep, I don't really feel so great...
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I am sitting in Borders Books in the Time Warner building on Columbus high as a kite on Vicoden and dribbling Dean and Deluca creamed tomato soup down the front of my chin and shirt.
The whole left side of my face, including my nose is numb. I just had oral surgery with great nitrous oxide and I had taken Vicoden before I even left the apartment so by the time I got to the dentist I was okay.
With that and the nitrous, I hardly felt the worst part, that first needle up into the hard palate, if you haven't had a molar surgically removed, or rooted out, you're in for a real treat. Be sure to get gas....
I had to pay $100 for the gas and I can't figure out why it isn't sold in small containers by drug dealers on the street so you an take it home with you. You come down as soon as they turn off the gas. It was lovely.
Luckily, the floor of my sinus was not perforated, and the bone at the floor of my sinus was not broken. I had to sign a paper saying these things could happen and I was aware of that and could not hold the oral surgeon responsible if they did....
I had a CAT scan by the ENT earlier so there is a record of what my sinus and bones looked like before this removal...
That being said, the floor of my sinus is dangerously weak and the bone beneath is is brittle and has been eaten away. I have been advised NOT to sneeze or blow my nose for at least 2 weeks. I have instructions on how to deal with this when I get home...
Needless to say I am feeling MUCH better than I expected I would be. I had envisioned jumping right into a cab and going directly home to sleep but after the procedure I decided to walk over here and have some soup, it looks like it is going to rain so the park is out...
I will work my way home stopping at various stores along the way to learn about the choices I have for internet access now that Verizon is dead and buried. I may be stuck with Time Warner as they have the monopoly and Comcast, RCN, Optimum Online have all deferred me to Time Warner as they were "not available in my areas"...
I took tomorrow and Monday off to convalesce... although I don't really need it now that it is over. I may go in on Monday... I have Tuesday off anyway as well because there is no work at all that day so I made a 6 day stretch for total recovery in case my sinus floor was destroyed.... Luckily it didn't turn out that way.
I will certainly be laying low this weekend and doing paper work and typing up a log of hours that I owe the damn government and finally get them off my back regarding that grant I used....
How's by you?
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...clutching my mini-mouse between giant fingers I am off of work again expecting to have a CAT scan of the sinuses and a visit to the ENT... ( Eager Nostril Tunneler)
...having not received a call from Verizon, and to request credit for interrupted/non service... I spoke with a live human and connected two neurons which should have linked up spontaneously but somehow did not...
When I transferred my land-line phone number to the Tmobile SIM card, the Verizon DSL and Verizon land-line, all of a sudden go from being almost two separate entities and services, into ONE entity and service, as you would logically conclude they would have been to begin with...
...I had defied my sense of logic and already trained myself to their counter-intuitive system of defiling customers, because of experiences working with them; that the Verizon telephone people and the Verizon DSL people are two separate entities and do not know one another...
...apparently, since they share the same line which I should have thought about, NOW they are painfully the same and when I "ported" my landline to a TMobile SIM card it, by default ( duh ) ended my DSL service.
Of course I played the nimnulll "Oh.... I didn't know, I didn't WANT to cancel the DSL! How can I get it BACK? How much is DSL only???"
"Oh, you can reconnect it...",
"...why yes, 39.99 a month would be fine please do.... by the way... I haven't had any good service for like two weeks now.... is there any way to get some credit for the past two weeks ???", I let her know...
I am as nice as pie to her.... she starts out stern with me but now she's really nice and jolly. she has been trained well..
I plot and plan as I listen to Verizon music as she plots and plans with her Verizon minions....
"...why yes, yes you can have a credit of $10.00 off of your bill for ONE year each month...." she's happier now...
Oh isn't that nice, ..." is it retroactive to include last week? I'm just curious?..."
I smile at my deviosity as she again puts me on hold and plays her soothing Verizon siren song....
she comes back on.... "ok, now your bill is 87.50 instead of 99 dollars" I can hear her smiling. she is used to this....
"Oh, thank you so much, " I embarrass myself gushing... :, and you have a nice day and all that.... i have an important call that was just coming through I need to call you back in a little bit... Thanks again and you have a nice..." pure bullsiht, that... she has no damn clue...
I'm doing that "getting more flies with honey than with vinegar" thing but who the hell wants flies? Verizon blows dead meat, that is for certain.
What I can't understand is why would anyone NOT lie to, or try cheating an amoral, multi-national, non-and even questioningly anti-American corporation? Come on.
She is all oh sure and jolly and thanking me and having me a nice day too and I'm laughing inside as i am visually slicing her throat open watching her jolly laughing head roll to the floor in a fountain of blood... I am oh so jolly too.
Now I am looking into Road Runner but after having doing some research and finding that Comcast is not available in my area, neither is RCN, and reading about MONOPOLY and remembering my LAST horrid experiences with Time Warner... although they are open 27/7.....
I loath to become a part of them again...
..especially since i have a 30 dollar plan and no contract!
I am now considering buying an updated 3G cellular device and also Tmobile has new wireless net adapter services... And,.... if my cell plan, the one I am using right now doesn't suffice for some reason, like I can't up and download streaming video or something;...
... they actually have wireless dongles now that they charge a 30 a month fee for and if it is as fast as DSL as they say it is....why, hey.... I just may continue to give Tmobile my business, trade the second line for THAT wireless service usable at home AND mobile and just upgrade the phone and keep what i have....
for the time being until I really decide what I need...
I don't want to do anything but watch a little TV and relax anyhow so screw them all..
I got my credit, I got rid of Verizon.Hell and THEY are now waiting for a call from ME to re-establish internet only I only wanted the credit for the last couple of frustrations and never planned to anyhow...
... oh how I smilingly and knowingly openly lied while pre planning to do so to get my lousy money credit ahahahaha i feel so proud.
now to try and get this CAT scan rushed through to see if my oral surgery will go ahead as planned on Thursday.
...I watched this movie, it was really GOOD! This is an interesting work of this story, different from the old original, i haven't seen the very recent version which got really bad reviews but I have seen the OLD black and white version of "The Wicker Man" but this early 1970's Version is INTERESTING...
It must have been terribly repressed by some forces... of course the MPAA are a group of old Catholic men...
I learned about it reading about Sharon Tate and witches in the late 60's, reading about it... other than that I didn't know about it which makes me think it has been repressed... it is very ahead of it's time...
And Britt Ekland is nude and does a witchy pagan dance. I think it her doing the nude scenes... she is Swedish, the pagan religious historical context seems accurate for that part of the world and a lot of people followed Crowley and continued this "sex magick" and these practices...
Christianity, the idea of blood sacrifice and cannibalism, the eating of flesh and drinking of the blood of the sacrificial victim supposedly comes directly from pagan tradition. Christ may be the personification of the SUN on two crossed sticks to measure the distance between the horizon and the rising sun at winter solstice, who these people worshiped and continued to do so in spite of the church burning THEM and killing THEM...
so the church may have gotten wise and created the character Christ as a personification of this 'sun' god which spanned the globe since Egyptians began recording history...
I wouldn't really know anything at all about it but this movie seems to connect those dots...
It is a really good film, everyone should see it.
I got up at 5:00 AM this morning to watch The Outer Limits and The Patty Duke Show on This TV, but actually I think I'm just excited for Verizon to call me and to set up an appointment so they can come out and fix my modem. I can't wait to say, "oh, I'm on another call, can you hold on just a second?" and put them on hold and leave them there.
I can't wait to do this over and over again and I am going to count how many times they attempt to call me.
I streamed lined my hard drive to run a bit faster tethered to the cell phone so shit like the HP Photo software and "dropbox" and other stuff isn't running automatically.
The tethering does slow the speed a tiny bit but it hasn't bothered me. I haven't been watching video on the web for a while, just blogging and checking email...
Today is the first day back to the regular world of work after "summer vacation"... I am actually anxious to get back.
I will work one day and then have a CAT scan of my sinuses and have it reviewed by the ENT, if she approves, then the oral surgeon will do the "root canal" of the dead and rotting root and hopefully all this won't involve my sinus, although I believe it does now as I am feeling symptoms.
Of course I am aware they could be psychosomatic, however I am aware of a constant post nasal drip... perhaps I just wasn't aware of it before....
a few more days will get it all out in the open, so to speak anyway.
I'll then be off on Thursday and Friday and Monday and Tuesday which was a day I could have chosen not to work anyhow because of the irregular schedule they keep there...
I need to see if I can still print out the Times Crossword over this connection...
There are so many choices out there..... My building is old and my choices are limited that way but the RCN guy was out there yesterday and I asked him about the services....
... he said the building may not be wired, but he would call the landlord and ask about wiring it, the building next door is wired....
I may just go ahead and SUBMIT to Time Warner again, I remember HATING them before VERIZON... NOW I hate Verizon.... I think it is probably the infrastructure here now that I know more about it...
Next building has to be wired, unless the apartment is great. I wish I could remove my apartment from the building it is and put it in a newer building.
I stay in this apartment because it is very affordable and because it has everything on my check list:
1. Large porcelain bath tub big enough to soak in.
2. "Eat-in" Kitchen"
3. More than one exposure, one being West
4. Windows in every room (including bathroom)
5. Natural light.
You can't be so picky here unless you have a lot of money to spend but I got lucky. Kind of....
Anyhow... gotta go, The Patty Duke Show is just starting... then I have to get out my clothes and shit, shower and shave and leave early.
I got a new attitude, a new routine and am going to leave earlier than usual in order to arrive at work in time to do one chore a day before starting the day at the work place so I will not end up rushing any more.
I don't like to rush. I like to be early and settled in.
Can you believe that it is fall in 10 or so days? Someone said "Halloween is next month!" and my heart dropped!
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